“I’ve got 99 problems and my coworker is all of them.”

“My coworker’s sense of humor is about as dry as the Sahara.”

“I can’t decide if my coworker is a genius or just really good at making excuses.”

“When one door closes, my coworker is usually responsible for it.”

“My coworker’s work is so bad, I’m pretty sure they’re doing it on purpose.”

“I feel like I’m in an endless game of ‘whodunit’ with my coworker, except it’s always them.”

“My coworker takes procrastination to a whole new level of artistry.”

“Working with my coworker is like going on a rollercoaster ride that never ends.”

“My coworker’s idea of teamwork is more like ‘me’ work.” “My coworker’s jokes are so bad, they make me want to call it quits and go home.”

“My coworker is like a tornado – they come in, make a mess, and then leave.”

“Working with my coworker is like being stuck in a bad sitcom.”

“I’m pretty sure my coworker is secretly a superhero, because no one can be that inept and still have a job.” TANK TOPPER QUOTE

“My coworker is the closest thing to a human emoji I’ve ever encountered.”

“My coworker’s work ethic is about as nonexistent as the Easter Bunny.”

“My coworker’s idea of personal space is non-existent. We might as well be conjoined.”

“My coworker has a brilliant talent for turning any project into a trainwreck.”

“I’m not sure what my coworker is actually paid to do, but it definitely isn’t work.”

“I’m pretty sure my coworker’s idea of ‘creativity’ is just a fancy word for ‘laziness.'”

“My coworker’s sense of humor is so bad, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were a Reddit user.”

“My coworker is like a magpie – they’re easily distracted and always looking for shiny new things to play with.”

“I’m not sure if my coworker is actually a human or just a really convincing robot malfunctioning.”

“My coworker’s productivity is like looking for a needle in a haystack – it’s there somewhere, but good luck finding it.”

“My coworker’s mission in life seems to be to suck all the joy out of our workplace.”